I know its long but I want to write what an inspiration my Mom is to me. Through all of this she has stayed positive and is looking for ways to help someone. My Mom is passionate about family history and will spend all day doing it if she can. Recently she had a distant cousin call her to thank her for finally putting a name to his grandparents. He did not know the paternal side of his family since his parents were divorced when he was young. She had just submitted the family history information on his grandparents when he saw it on the computer at the family history library and wrote down her contact information and later called her. He is 71 and living in Snowflake, Arizona. He does not have a computer so my mom is making several books of all the information that she has of that side of the family for him including pictures. My Mom has also gotten in contact with 3 of her cousins to get more information on that side of the family. She is so excited that she can help someone. My Mom tells me that she wants to do something to help the Lord each day and at the end of each day she asks herself if she did something good that day. The words from the hymn “Have I done any good in the world today” ring true with my mom. It’s not a trite saying to her but has guided her throughout her wonderful life.
The other day my Mom emailed my sisters and myself to let us know that she has another disease, Cushing Syndrome. She then goes on to write the following telling us what she is thankful for.
“I feel so blessed to have such wonderful children and such a supportive husband and mother to help me. I know the Lord has been watching out after me and has helped me through all of this. I feel at peace with this and know this little problem will be resolved and I will go on to the next challenge. I am taking each day at a time and glad for that. I have a few bad days but mostly part of a day is just fine and I can handle that. I am glad for what I can do and accept my limitations. I know that as long as I continue repenting, keeping the commandments and keeping close to the Lord I will be fine.”
How can I complain about my health problems, difficulty becoming pregnant, not knowing many people in the ward, etc when she refuses to? She has a terminal lung disease and refers to it as “this little problem.” How can I ever live up to her? I do not have to deal with half of what she does and yet too often I find myself complaining. I feel so small when I do that. As difficult as it has been watching my mom slowly and painfully suffer the debilitating effects of this terminal disease I know it could be worse. Because she is so incredibly positive and upbeat with a will to live and help others it makes this difficult situation a little more bearable. The gospel doesn’t take away the very real pain but it does soften it.
A couple of days ago my mom told me about when she found out she had cancer. When the doctor told her that she had breast cancer she was not worried about it. Her only concerns were getting home in time to take Mary to the post office so Mary could mail her masters thesis and our upcoming wedding. She found out a month before our wedding but did not want to tell me or start treatment till after we got married. I found out about the cancer about a week before the wedding from my sister Rachel. That about broke my heart. You never expect your mom is ever going to get sick. I mean she is the one who takes care of everyone. I thought the breast cancer was the worst thing that could happen to my mom but boy was I wrong. Through all of this my mom has told all of us that she is grateful because it has brought our family closer together. I hope that one day I can be like her.
3 comments:
Starting the day with tears now, thanks! Esther - your mom is a real inspiration for all of us, and thank you for sharing! But you are also an inspiration because I have personally never heard you complain. Isn't it nice to know that one day we will ALL be perfect? I feel blessed to have known your mom in some small way.
Esther, you are more like your mom than you know. Since I met you, I have always been so amazed at how much you have to deal with on a daily basis, but how little you complain. Most often, no one knows you're in pain. It's almost always hidden behind your beautiful smile. I know many people who complain, pretty much non-stop, yet have not nearly the trials you have had and continue to have. My respect and admiration for you grows everytime we're together. When I grow up, I want to be like you! :) And don't feel bad about the times you do vent your frustrations and heartaches. That is what family is for, and we all covenanted at baptism to "bear one another's burdens". So let us help and be a shoulder when you need it. Love you, sis!
Esther, thank you for sharing your feelings about your mom. Not only has she been an example to you, but through you she is an example to all of us. You truly inspire me to do better and to always look at the bright side of every situation. For that I am forever grateful.
Thanks again!
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