Bad Day

Today started out okay. It’s Friday and I was really looking forward to the weekend. This was my first week back to work since Mom’s passing and I am all caught up with work. Then about noon I heard a loud noise coming from outside but I paid it no attention and went back to work. About a half hour later my boss’s dad came in and asked if I had a red car. I said that I did and then followed him outside to find my car covered under a few large branches. The largest was about 12 inches in diameter. Once I saw the car I immediately called Ben. He was out of the office and as my hands were shaking and my emotions rattled I tried to explain what happened. But he didn’t seem very concerned. In fact he thought I was exaggerating…until he saw the car! He told me later that I made no sense on the phone and all he understood from our conversation was that I needed him to come to the office right then. Well, Ben got there and handled the arrangements for me and then had to dash off to see a periodontist and left me with the tow truck and rental car. To make matters worse Ben found out what we had feared. He has an infection in his second “Haiti” tooth and that one has to be extracted and an implant and crown put in its place like the other “Haiti” tooth. Today was a very expensive day! I now have another reason for keeping Ben around besides as my trash man, vacuum man and pest control guy. Reason #4: he is my take control when I’m having a breakdown dude. I love you Ben!

I do keep you around for more than 4 reasons but not everything is for public consumption....OK, Ben wrote that!

My Other Love

KATHY

Last Christmas Esther and her siblings wrote letters of tribute to Kathy and enclosed it in a nice book. We knew it would be our last Christmas with her and we thought she would enjoy this gift more than anything. I included a letter as well and thought I would include it here so that it is contained within "our record." She is a true angel and the best mother in law any man could ask for. Her only complaint in life was that she could not do more. I saw the Bishop, home teachers, friends, and neighbors come by to visit with the intent to provide service to her but inevitably she would turn the tables and ask what she could do to lessen their burdens and make their life sweeter. I remember once hearing a talk by President Faust where he voiced a terrible transgression that he had committed. It was one that he had regretted all his life. If I remember correctly, when he was a young boy his grandmother had asked him to bring in logs for the fire and he had refused. That was the big transgression for him! I remember thinking, boy I'm in trouble!! But, this is the kind of life Kathy lived. Her purity, faith, endurance, testimony and positive attitude are examples to everyone.

Kathy

I know that you will love and cherish this book that your children have so diligently arranged for you. They have done it because they love you with a love that is complete and full in every way. In short, they have developed charity for their dear mother. The genesis for their development of this most precious gift, the gift of charity, is you. They have observed you daily and seen “that you work no hypocrisy before men.” They have followed your example of true Christ like charity and now can lay claim to that gift as well.

In the three years that I have know you I have witnessed your vibrant and heartfelt testimony of the gospel and your charity for others. Your example has reminded me of my Mission President who during a particular zone conference charged us with developing an unimpeachable testimony. The day I heard that counsel I set a goal of developing that unimpeachable testimony of which he spoke. Although I know that I have much work to be done to achieve that goal I can look to you and see that it is possible.

I know that my entrance into the life of Esther and the speed at which are relationship progressed toward a Celestial marriage was a surprise, perhaps a shock to you and Gary. I recognize that you had some valid concerns about my capacity to provide for Esther and care for her when her Crohn’s flared up or when another random ailment afflicted her. I didn’t quite understand why you would have those concerns at the time because I knew we were living the commandments, looking forward to a Temple marriage, and that I would do anything and everything to ensure that Esther was well provided for and happy. However, I think I understand a little better where those concerns originated and I can see the trust and faith that you have placed in me to care for your precious daughter. I appreciate that confidence, and I can assure you that she will indeed not want for love and the necessities of life.

Kathy, I want you to know that I love you and deeply appreciate the generosity and kindness that you have shown me.

Love,

Ben

Christmas 2007

WE DID IT!

One of the consequences of working full time and carrying a full load of MBA classes is that you are up at all hours of the night and morning studying and working on homework, projects, presentations etc. Tonight, or this morning, depending on your point of view, it has been a blessing since I have been able to follow the Prop 8 election results. As it stand right now at 3:15 am the Yes is at 52% with 86% of the vote counted. We have received over 4.7 million votes and counting. At this point I feel comfortable enough to call this election for our side. This has been a hard fought win and all those that supported Yes on 8 are true Patriots. I will share more of my thoughts and feelings about the difficult journey and our powerful victory later. Right now I'm going to bed where I'm sure all of you are now.

Obituary

Katherine Marie Burns Steffens, 61, daughter of William Dewey and Martha Otania Burns, was born April 21, 1947 in Dallas, Texas and died October 29, 2008 from interstitial pulmonary fibrosis at her home in Temple City, California.

She attended WH Adamson High School in Dallas, Texas and Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. She own and operated the Steffens Family Day Care for over 25 years. During this time, she cared for hundreds of children throughout the San Gabriel Valley. She was an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and devoted herself to serving her church, community, and neighbors. The last years of her life were dedicated to family history research.

She is predeceased by her daughter Hannah Steffens and father William Dewey Burns. She is dearly remembered by her husband of forty years Gary Steffens, son Ethan Steffens of Temple City, daughter and son-n-law Rachel and Chris Freeman of Laguna Hills, California, daughter Mary Steffens of Washington, DC, daughter and son-n-law Esther and Ben Williams of Thousand Oaks, California, mother Martha Patterson Burns of Austin, Texas, brother William Burns of South Jordan, Utah, sister and brother-in-law Delene and Mark Harrison of North Hollywood, California, and Kenneth Burns of Austin, Texas. She is also missed dearly by many aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and neighbors.

Funeral services will be held, Friday, November 7, 2008 at 10:00 AM at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, 6249 North Kauffman Avenue, Tempe City, California. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the Coalition for Pulmonary Fibrosis, 1659 Branham Lane, Suite F, #227, San Jose, CA 95118-5226; www.coalitionforpf.org; (888)222-8541x704.

Burial and dedication of the grave will be Saturday, November 8^th at the Greenlawn Mortuary and Cemetery in Bakersfield, California where her daughter, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law are resting.

Katherine Marie Burns Steffens

Last Christmas my siblings wrote letters of tribute to my Mom and enclosed it in a nice book. We knew it would be our last Christmas with Mom and we thought she would enjoy this gift more than anything else we could think of. This gave me an opportunity to do my best to put my love and admiration for my Mom in words. At this time I cannot even begin to write a tribute to my Mom but the words from this letter best capture my love and my tender feelings for the most wonderful woman in the world, someone I know simply as Mom.


What can I say about my Mom? There are not words to adequately describe how I feel for you and how I love you. But I will do my best. Well, here goes… Growing up I always knew that you were there for me no matter what. If I was hurt or sick or just needed someone to talk to, you were always there for me with comforting words, healing hands and a willingness to listen to things both trivial and eternal in nature. Although going through the symptoms, diagnosis, and treatments for Crohn’s disease was excruciatingly painful and tried me to my very core, I would not change a thing if I was able to go back in time. I would do it all again without hesitation because this disease changed the course of my life and my relationship with you for the better. It afforded me countless special moments and memories with you that never would have occurred otherwise. I consider these most precious experiences to be tender mercies from the Lord because they gave me the faith and inspiration to keep on going. I knew that my mother loved me and would be there for me and that was enough.
At a time when most teenagers are rebelling and seeking independence from their parents, I was drawing closer to mine, especially you. You were always so giving with your love and with your time. I remember many instances when you would stay up all night with me during a flare up. You would hold my hand, rub my stomach and comfort me as only you could. Then, on little or no sleep you would be the mom to the “little people” who loved and adored you so much. After the babysitting kids were gone it was time to make dinner, help me and the other kids with our homework and tidy the house. I truly don’t know how you did it all. You were, are, and will always be Superwoman to me. You would serve and give of your time, talents, energy, and love to everyone never asking for anything in return, and rarely having a moment to yourself.
As I have become older my admiration and love for you has only grown. You have always been the center of the family, our core, our heart. I have always known that I had the BEST Mother in the whole world but you are much more than that, you are my dearest friend. I know that I can turn to you when I need someone to talk with, someone to cry with or someone to laugh with. When Ben and I were married it was a difficult for me to leave you. I had always had you near and it was a difficult transition. However, that transition was made easier since I worked nearby and was able to spend a few hours almost every day together. That really helped me adjust to be married and not living in my childhood home. Marrying Ben and moving to Van Nuys was the first time I ever lived anywhere else but my home with you. It was at that point that I realized just how little I knew about being the homemaker. I often had helped you in the kitchen but I had never made dinner all by myself or planned and prepared a meal for guests. I didn’t know what to do when Ben and I came down with various bizarre medical conditions. But you were there with comfort and guidance to walk me through any and every situation. I knew that I could call you and ask you any question without feeling ignorant or embarrassed. You were and are my How-To book.
Mom, you are the bravest person I know. I am amazed at what you endure and how you endure it. You never complain but maintain a positive attitude no matter what is thrown your way. I have so much to learn from you! Your life has been one devoted to serving, uplifting and helping others. In short, your life has been the life of a true Saint, a selfless Saint. You have embodied and exemplified a life full of Christ’s love, charity. I cherish our memories together and commit to following your example of love and service, for I know that by following your example I will be following the example of the Master. How wonderful it is to have the knowledge and sweet assurance of the eternal nature of families. I know that whatever happens on this earth, we will one day have a glorious reunion in our Father’s home above never to be separated again.

Love Eternally,
Esther
Christmas 2007